Internet Hate & Learning Lessons From It


Be Positive source

I wrote this post quite a few days ago, about a server offering my kids fries with their spaghetti, and boy did it piss some people off.  Since Thursday I’ve been fielding tweets and blog posts and comments written in angry response to it.  For the first few days, it really, really got to me.  Trolls on Facebook and yahoo call you a moron and ugly, or even say your baby looks “retarded” (yes, that seriously happened), you begin to let it roll off your back because you can imagine them in their parents basement, typing away angry messages to online writers.

But this last response felt all-together different because the negativity and hate was coming from actual people.  At one point, someone tweeted the story out and Andy Richter of The Conan Show read it, and responded, “God, people are fucking horrible.”  You have one half of Team Coco say that about words you wrote and see if it doesn’t put a damper on your day.

All the while I was thinking, people are really getting this upset about some french fries?  It’s not like I wrote a post titled “Obamacare Sucks!”, or other controversial topics.  It was about french fries and spaghetti.  People accused me of harassing the poor server and some said I was lazy for taking my kids out to eat spaghetti when it was so easy to make at home.  It got to the point where the comments became just so ridiculous I stopped reading.  And then I stopped caring at all and I realized how silly I was being by caring so much.  By the way, most of the really negative comments which added nothing to the conversation were deleted by Babble.  Responses calling me a twat, entitled bitch, pathetic snob, you, know, the usual internet hostility…

I’ve learned a major lesson from all of this though, and that is I need to do a better job of clarifying my position on things before I write, especially on hot-topic issues such as food and kids.  Some of the feedback was valid and I can see where people were confused.  At the urging of the team, I wrote a response which I hope clears up my position a bit better.  For those who provided constructive criticism, I’m appreciative.  And for those friends who have been reading from the beginning, or know me in real life, who stuck up for my position in the comments, thank you.  It was nice to see some friendly faces in a sea of negativity.

There was so much more I was going to write about this whole subject, but after sitting on it for a few days, I’ve realized I need to just move on and let this go.  Lessons learned, point taken, yadda yadda.  From here on out, I’m making a vow to be a lot more encouraging and positive online.  No more tweeting the NBC Today Show, saying Matt Lauer is a jerk.

Thanks for everything friends.  I hope you all had a great Thanksgiving.  See you back here on Monday.


Andrea is the founder of For The Love Of, a lifestyle blog dedicated to approachable, modern living. She writes about style, her love of DIY, and living a healthier life through wholesome, nutritious cooking. She is also a regular contributor at Babble. Get in touch: Facebook, Twitter You can find Andrea on Instagram @andreavhowe and @gwynethmademedoit

  • Senja says:


    I thought it was a great post but I do understand that people, especially Americans can get upset if their beloved french fries are being “under attack”.

    Have you seen the show Food Revolution from and with Jamie Oliver? He had such a terribly hard time getting into schools to teach students about church.

    All in all I agree that it is so unnecessary to add french fries with pasta. People’s thinking in regards to food needs to be changed in general.

    Hugs from Sweden,

  • Angela O says:

    I love your blog. I follow you for fashion and motherhood advice. I’m sorry that this happened to you. My youngest is obsessed with fries and if she has them on her plate that is all she will eat, so I feel your pain about having your child offered fries with a meal like that. I hope all the backlash won’t keep you from your great fashion and motherhood posts. I tried to jump on the Gwyneth bandwagon with you , but it wasn’t for me. I do love those posts too and maybe one day I’ll be brave enough to cook a whole fish or make sauce from scratch. For all the haters you encounter, know that you have real people who read your blog and enjoy it! Happy holidays!

  • Rachel says:

    I’ve been reading your blog for ages but never comment. I’m an Australian vegetarian, so my experience of food is very different to what I imagine yours is. I’ve been really fascinated to read about your decisions with food and your family. I was amazed (and a bit horrified) at the negative reactions to your post. You are doing a great job of questioning the status quo on what you eat. Keep it up!

  • Robin T says:

    mean people suck. I didn’t see the original post and comments yet but geez people need to get a life – I don’t know why people get so caught up in bloggers’ lives when they probably wouldn’t recognize you if you walked by on the street – yet feel the need to call you out so publically about healthcare…no, wait poverty….I mean OMG FRIES! good grief.

  • Amanda says:

    Wow. I had not read our original post until just now, but it hardly made me bat an eyelash. What in the world were people so up in arms about??? I think it’s so sad when people have such negative reactions to others trying to better themselves and their families. I don’t think you push your choices on anyone, but you simply show what you’re doing and how you can do it too, if you want. Just know that there are plenty of people out there who enjoy your blog, support you, and know that your intentions are only good. I have been reading your blog and following you for a few years (and Hayden and my son are only a month apart :)), and think you’re so much more than someone to pick on. Keep your chin up! 🙂

  • Stephanie gorman says:

    I agreed with your original blog on this totally, I’m surprised u received so my negative feedback

    Love your blog!

  • Barbara Swanson says:

    I love that you are bold, open, transparent, and strong willed! Please don’t alter your posts because of these sensitive readers! Regardless of what you do, I will keep reading! You inspire me. 🙂

  • Kyrie estrada says:

    I would just like to write and tell you I love your Instagram and blog! I’ve never comment on any other blogs before, your style is classic and stylish! Your down to earth ness is refreshing! I just can’t understand why people can’t just enjoy your postings and take what they like and don’t like a keep it it themselves!! You gals that blog an IG take time out of your busy schedules to entertain us followers! People should thank you for this and masking us smile, give us ideas and share your secrets with us gals!! So thank you for all your time and great posts!! I’m a hairstylist , salon manager and mom of 2 boys and when I finally sit down to relax i love to see your posts…!! Blessings!!

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