August 27, 2012

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It’s been over 5 years since I played this waiting game, but it still feels all too familiar, like it was just yesterday.  This whole pregnancy I’ve had this notion in my head that this being my 3rd time around, it would be easier.  The labour and delivery part.  I had myself convinced that it would be shorter, quicker, and most importantly, less painful.  But Saturday night, I got a taste of a big contraction, just for about 20 seconds, and it terrified me.  And I realized that I’ve been a bit naive about this whole situation.

Every pregnancy is different, therefore every labour and delivery is different and I’ve now become quite certain that I don’t know what to expect, and the anxiety has set in.  When will this happen, and how?  The fear of the unknown I guess is the biggest hurdle to conquer.  I know once it starts I will take it on and bear forward and onward and birth our third little baby into the world, and meet his or her sweet pudgy face.  But until then, I’m scared.

Because I’ve been in this holding pattern for the past couple of days, feeling different and that labour could set in at any moment, I’ve been completely distracted and posts I had intentions of writing for this week have fallen to the wayside, in order to rest a lot, spend time with the family, read and watch movies.  I can’t seem to have the patience or the energy to wrap up the “maternity style” series I’ve had planned in my head, or the “what’s in my hospital bag” series.  But I know the internet and this blog will still be here when I get back, so until then, excuse me why I sit and wait for this baby to come.  As soon as I’m feeling up to it, I’ll update you all on baby #3.  Until then, please say a prayer!