Daily Style – Saying Goodbye

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IMG_7504 Shirt – Johnny Was (exact same silhouette, just slightly different embroidery design and available in white, gray and black, and on sale!); Jeans – Paige Denim Verdugo Ultra Skinny (also available in a lighter wash, or no distressing); Shoes – ShoeMint Jordane now on sale
IMG_7500 It’s hard to believe our good friends left the state almost two months ago now. These pictures were taken at their going away bash, just 2 days before they left. I spent the first half of the party crying, and managed to pull it together by the second half, so I could enjoy them. I’ve tried to write a couple of times before, about how blessed we are to have them in our life, and how hard it was to say goodbye to them, but sometimes words just don’t really need to be spoken or written. They were, are really special to us, and we miss them a whole lot. We’re so happy we get to see them next month already.
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IMG_7466 These pictures are obviously old, but it took me a while to emotionally work up to being able to look at them.  I did pretty good at not getting teary eyed, until I saw the pictures of the girls dancing together on their daddy’s shoulders.  And I lost it.  I tried not to bring up our friends too much right after the move, but now we’re sort of all settled into this reality, and the kids have skyped a couple of times, and are now writing letters back and forth to each other.  Taylor is seeing if she can somehow arrange her birthday party to coincide with her friend visiting.  I think we could make it work, if she agrees to celebrate her birthday 2 months prior to her actual birthday.  Sweet girl might just agree to it. IMG_7516 Oh and there I am with long hair!  Syd was looking at these pictures with me and he asks, “Mama, when are you gonna get long hair again?  Because I like you with long hair.”
IMG_7465 And just look at this kid!  Tomorrow I’ll be sharing a pictograph of my little guy, from birth through his 12th month.  It’s amazing to see the changes month by month!
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IMG_7402 Until tomorrow, have a wonderful day.  Here’s to good friends, cute clothes, even cuter babies, and double fisting it with Sweet and Saucy cake pops.  Rock on man.

Oh, and even though our friends have moved across the country, the arranged marriage between our sons and their daughters, is still happening.
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Dressing For Nursing

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Nursing-Style-Do's-and-Don'ts I signed up for a new boot camp this week, one that’s held just minutes from my house in a nice shaded park. The short distance and easy accessibility lured me in, but the workout and community that the group seems to have hooked me. While I’m not looking to add any more “besties” to my roster of friends, I am a firm believer that it’s nice to have a plethora of womanly friends in your neighborhood; to hang out with every now and then, ask questions about schools and activities, bum babysitters from, and just know for the sake of knowing. Our town is big, and having more familiar faces to run into when out running errands makes me feel like I live in a small quaint town instead of the behemoth of an area it actually is.

So as I was getting ready to leave I started talking to the trainer and she was telling me about all the fun activities they do together, including an upcoming overnight girl’s trip to Catalina. I told her thanks but no thanks, I’m still nursing. She looked at me and didn’t mince words with her reply. “You ARE?!? Gawd! I couldn’t do that!” I just sort of laughed and brushed it off, because really, I don’t care. But yes, I am still nursing, and plan to let baby boy self-wean, at least until he’s about 18 months, then we’ll see how it goes from there. I don’t plan to take him into the preschool stage, but if we go till 2, then so be it.

I was getting lots of requests after I had Hayden to do a nursing series style post, and it may have taken me a bit of time, but I’m finally here to share some tips on how to dress while nursing. Nursing and dressing are still very much a part of my day to day, and while it may not be as frequent as it was a few months ago, or take as long, it has gotten more interesting. Hayden hates the cover now, and I can’t say I blame him much. So it’s been a struggle out in public lately to keep the boobs contained and nursing discreet. A couple of weeks ago I showed an older couple my left breast right in the middle of the Nordstrom Cafe. I had the cover on and Hayden somehow grabbed and flung it so hard it just came right off. The kid’s got talent,I’ll give him that. The older couple proceeded to get up and leave within minutes.

So with a combined 3+ years of nursing experience under my belt, I thought I’d share just a few of the styles I love and despise for nursing friendly sessions, and very much centered to when you are out and about. When you’re at home it’s all fair game. Obviously you don’t need me to tell you, wear what you want, and what will make for the most comforting nursing experience for you and baby.

Let’s break it down by do’s and don’ts  (based on ease of nursing, not fashion rules):

When Wearing Dresses: Do go for dresses made of a stretchy cotton knit, with straps or sleeves which can either easily slip down, like the gray dress below, or a criss-cross bodice which can be moved to the side. Strapless also works well, as long as the material is stretchy. Don’t go for tight, unforgiving fabrics which don’t have a zipper or only a zipper in the back. It’s quite embarrassing to have to take off the whole top of your dress just to nurse, or inconvenient to have to seek out a room to hide in and do this. I had this exact problem when I wore the red and black striped dress below. Also on the subject of dresses, if they aren’t stretchy and there is no opening by way of zipper or buttons, you’ll be forced to pull the dress up to nurse, as I had to do with the paisley dress. Now, I don’t want to get into what’s considered indecent or embarrassing or the like when it comes to nursing, because that’s all up to personal interpretation, but I will say that all these means are inconvenient, so just avoid them if you can! IMG_9116 IMG_0567 IMG_6123

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On Fabric Choice: Obviously softer fabrics are best because they feel good for you and for baby! Cottons, knits, worn-in chambray, maybe even cashmere if no one’s allergic. But be wary of luxury fabrics like silk, as breast milk does a number on them and the milk stains require dry cleaning to remove. Even if you wear breast pads to contain leaks, don’t forget that babies often leak themselves when nursing, and can dribble little bits of it all down your shirt. I learned this the hard way with the neon silk blouse below. Also be careful with wool, as some babies, especially those with eczema, can have a bad reaction to the fabric rubbing on their cheeks when nursing. IMG_5748 IMG_5994 IMG_8824

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Embellishments: Pretty baubles, from flashy necklaces to sparkly sequins are all pretty, but keep in mind that they attract a baby’s attention like nothing else. I used to like wearing long and sturdy necklaces when nursing because it would give Hayden something to focus on, and in fact, women make and sell handmade nursing necklaces just for this purpose. But the older he’s gotten, necklaces during nursing sessions cause a distraction and make me uncomfortable because he’s constantly pulling on me. Sequins are lovely, but are really irritating to baby’s skin and your own. I wore the sequins top below on Christmas Eve, when Hayden was still just a little baby, and several nursing sessions over a 6 hour period at my parent’s house left little scratches on the side of my body from pulling up on the top, and on Hayden’s cheeks. No good for baby or momma. IMG_9895 IMG_4167

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General Nursing Friendly Silhouettes: As far as I’m concerned, as long as your shirt will give a little bit, isn’t too delicate and can be washed with ease, any style is fair game. In the beginning when you’re going to be nursing constantly, button up tops work best, but as you get further along and nursing speeds up and slows down in intensity, t-shirts, tank tops, sweaters, chambray button ups and just about anything that can be pulled up or pulled down is great. If you’re self conscious to pull your shirt up or down in public, just invest in a nursing cover. IMG_3933 t1

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I really think we limit ourselves when we label clothes “nursing friendly” or “unfriendly”, and try to figure out a wardrobe for a task we perform a few times a day, and decreases over a fairly short amount of time. We’re better off just trying to make your current wardrobe work as much as possible, within reason of course. I never really bought into the idea of buying nursing clothes either. Rather, buy for the long term, and unless you’re planning to nurse for the next 5 years, this phase will come and pass before you know it. And between you and me, those blasted nursing tanks look best when worn under a shirt or at night as pajamas. Running around in broad daylight with those things is basically advertising to the world that your boobs are in production. Breast feeding is a beautiful thing, but no reason it has to change how we present ourselves to the world while we’re doing it.

Let me know if you have any questions or if I left anything out. I loved my Petunia nursing cover because it zipped into a tiny self-pouch in a snap. I also love these soft and comfy bras by Coobie, for those of us with smaller girls which don’t need extra duty support. I still wear them at night because my breasts are too sensitive to not have some coverage against shirts. I easily just stretch the fabric down and nurse away.



Back To School

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I’d be honored if you considered liking my Facebook page! And if you’d like to receive email updates straight to your inbox, please make sure to sign up to the right. fist-day-of-school It seems my plan of casual avoidance of back to school talk, for the most part worked.  The subject of school barely got brought up until the day before, quite literally.  It just so happened that the day before back-to-school was also Hayden’s birthday, and our first tear of the new school year was shed.

Taylor: “But mom, now I can’t even enjoy Hayden’s birthday because of school!  I won’t be able to spend time with him!”

Me: “But Taylor, you’re home all day with him, you don’t go back to school till tomorrow so we have all day to celebrate.  I don’t understand your concern.”

Taylor: “But now I’ll just be thinking about it all day and I won’t be able to enjoy myself!”

It appears that the apple truly does not fall far from the tree, because I truly understood what she meant.

It turns out that the anticipation of worry is usually worse than the worry inducing thing in the first place.  We’ve been “back to school” for over two weeks now and our routine is slowly falling back into place.

It seems that school is growing on Syd, and he’s for the most part, cheerful about going, even if he’s not always cheery in the morning.  He loves his teacher, and she is in fact the same teacher he had last year.  The school had some classroom and teacher reassignments and his old Kinder teacher was assigned to run the new K1 combo class.  We were asked last year if we wanted Syd to participate, and after talking it over with each other, his speech therapist and the teacher herself, we decided to go for it.  It would give Syd the opportunity to further advance in his speech, so that by the time he reached 2nd grade he would be fully, or close enough to being fully caught up.  His speech this year would not seem so ordinary in half a classroom of kinders.  It would also give him the chance to take on a bit of a leadership role, thus boosting his confidence, and since he’s a great independent worker, overall it seemed like a good fit.  We’re all happy it seems to be working out.  Do you have combo classes in your schools, and if so, have your children ever participated in them?

Taylor was assigned to a teacher I hadn’t heard of before but who many people rave about, upon hearing who she got.  I have made it a point to not hover and trust that the teachers at her school are all great, and no matter who she gets she’s lucky.  Therefore I haven’t made inquiries into higher grade level teachers, nor have I ever made requests or asked that she be placed with specific teachers or friends.  Art and I have both felt that we should let the cards fall where they may and hope for the best.  It has worked out each year and this year seems to be as well.

Initially when I saw the class roster I noticed that none of her carryover friends were in the class, and in fact I didn’t even recognize 21 out of 24 of the kids.  I came home after the first day of school drop off and wrung my hands and literally started crying to Art that she was going to be so sad and contemplated how this could have happened.  Keep in mind that Taylor hadn’t seem to taken note that none of her “friends” were in her class.  I was, per usual, talked off the ledge and told to have faith that it would all work out.  So far it has.

Aside from a brief mention that a few of her friends were all together and how lucky they were, Taylor doesn’t seem to mind her class lacks the comfort of built-in friendships, and actually seems to really be enjoying her teacher.

We’ve tried not to push the idea of “best friends” on Taylor and have in fact kept 99% of our social activities outside of school, with friends who do not go to her school.  All summer long she only saw one school friend, once.  We didn’t set up play dates and didn’t get asked to them either.

The negative person in me wants to jump to worrying about that scenario, and ask why no one thought to invite her over.  But when it boils down to it, I’m happy that for now her strong friendship roots are in family and friends outside of school.  She has plenty of friends at school, she just doesn’t spend a lot of time with them outside of school.  As a kid, the only friends I had were school friends, and as we got older and quarrels grew ever increasing, those quarrels carried into school and made for a sad experience that probably hurt my learning.  I’m hoping that by keeping her foundation rooted in outside-of-school friends, these issues won’t come up as much.  Maybe I’m just being naive and it’ll all blow up in my face, but for my girl’s sake I hope it doesn’t.  How do you all handle school versus outside of school friendships?

It’s still hard for some people to understand that some kids don’t like school.  On the first day I was explaining to a fellow school mom how nervous Art and I both were for a new school year, and all the tears it may bring.  When I explain that my kids, rather one in particular, isn’t such a fan of school, she looked at me with that shocked, kind of squinty face that conveys pure disbelief, and just said, “Huh?” I think she may have almost said “I don’t get it.”

Not all kids love school.  Some kids just love being home.  This does not make my kids future delinquents of America, and does not make me a bad mom because she’d rather stay home and read in her comfy bed.  Nor does it make me a good mom that she’d rather stay home in her comfy bed in this fabulously loving home which she never wants to leave.  It just is what it is, quite simply, and those of us who have to deal with kids who don’t love school are a sad lot.  We worry that they’re sad or lonely or anxious at school, we wonder if these stressors are going to inhibit learning.  We hate hearing the whining and moaning the night before and the morning of school.  We hate the battles that erupt, the talking through and all the hand holding.  It’s hard and the best thing you can do, if you have a friend with a kid like this, is just support them.  Unless you have personal experience that may actually be beneficial because it worked for you personally, don’t offer suggestions about how they can get their kids to love school.  And for goodness sake don’t look at them like they have two heads when you explain the troubles you have getting your kid to school some days.

If you have a kid who doesn’t love school, and you’ve just started, hang in there.  It does get better and easier with time, for both you and them.  The crying and fights will dwindle down and eventually they’ll be almost gone completely.  Long breaks like school holidays, 3 day weekends and vacations will make going back to school tougher than usual, and Mondays can be hard, so be sensitive to that.  But other than that, just hang on and continue to encourage them.  It will get better and easier, I promise.

So that’s how back to school has been going for us.  How about you guys?

Oh, and Taylor was late to school today, the 9th day of school.  And we live right across from the school, literally.  Guarantee it won’t be the last time.  We need a new system in the morning.  How’s that for awesome parenting?



My Latte Costs More Than A Slab Of Bacon

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latte It seems a bit funny that what started off as somewhat of an experiment, laden with much tongue-in-cheek sarcasm, has turned into a complete lifestyle shift and overhaul in the way I look at, think about and consume food.  In many ways, since I wrote this post just over three months ago, my whole world as it relates to food, has been turned upside down on its head.

When I started researching ways to “eat clean”, I learned that the idea of eating clean could not come full circle unless you also looked at the animals we eat, and how “clean” they really were, and the entire factory farm system in which the vast majority of our meat and poultry comes from (99% to be exact).  After some digging around, I decided to read Eating Animals.  The fact that it was written by one of my favorite authors, Jonathon Safran-Foer, intrigued me, and upon learning that he decided to write the book out of a pure quest to find out exactly where the food he feeds himself and his family, comes from, made me want to read the book even more.  Let it be noted that after researching and writing the book, he chose to become a strict vegetarian, and raise his new son that way, and while at times the book is written from the obvious tone of a vegetarian, the book in itself is simply a true account of the factory farm system.  It was well researched (the book has over 65 pages of notes), but also written in a wonderfully narrative form, including many stories from his childhood, and transcripts from factory workers, farmers, activists and ranchers.  I cannot recommend the book enough if you want a rundown of where the majority of our meat, fish and poultry comes from here in America.  I read it in just a couple of days it was so fascinating, while at the same time very heart wrenching.

I won’t get into explicit detail of the book, however, I will say that throughout it, I found myself in tears, feeling saddened, angry, frustrated and hopeless.  A very brief synopsis of the book will tell you though, that our current factory farm system is disgustingly broken.  Bottom line, the current system is bad for the animals, bad for the workers, really really bad for the environment, and scarily bad for us when you find out how animals are raised and “processed”, which means slaughtered.

A few key takeaways from the book

On turkey and poultry genetics: “Not a single turkey you can buy in the supermarket could walk normally, much less jump or fly.  They can’t even have sex.  Not the antibiotic-free, or organic, or free-range.  They all have the same foolish genetics, and their bodies won’t allow for it anymore.  Every turkey sold in every store and served in every restaurant was the product of artificial insemination.  If it were only for efficiency, that would be one thing, but these animals literally can’t reproduce naturally.  Tell me what could be sustainable about that?”

On food health and safety: “About thirty years ago, the poultry industry convinced the USDA to reclassify feces so that it could continue to use automatic eviscerators (during slaughter).  Once a dangerous contaminant, feces are now classified as a “cosmetic blemish.”

Our love of chicken in the US: Americans eat 150 times as many chickens as we did only eighty years ago.

On scary viruses: Scientists at Columbia and Princeton Universities have actually been able to trace six of the eight genetic segments of the currently most feared viruses in the world directly to US factory farms.

On farmers: Farmers have lost – have had taken from them – a direct, human relationship with their work.  Increasingly, they don’t own the animals, can’t determine their methods, aren’t allowed to apply their wisdom, and have no alternatives to high-speed industrial slaughter.  The factory model has not only estranged them from how they labor, but what they produce and how the product is sold.

I could go on because I marked over 100 highlights throughout the book, but for the sake of brevity, I’ll stop there.  After reading the book, I have not decided to become a vegetarian, but I have decided to do what I can to support local agriculture and the farmers who are still practicing, or are trying to bring back traditional farm practices and animal husbandry.  Aside from meat, I’ve already been figuring out what to do remove my monetary support from Big Agriculture by no longer buying foods made with GMO’s.

Because I’ve made this lifestyle shift so public, by creating an entire Instagram account on the subject, and by writing a regular weekly column over at Babble, plenty of questions, both sincere and rhetorical, come my way on a daily basis.  The biggest questions and concerns, again both genuine and rhetorical, all center around 3 topics of discussion.

It’s So Hard and Overwhelming! Indeed it is at first, I won’t lie.  It takes some time to focus on learning as much as you can, and then learning some more.  But I promise it’s achievable.  You see that list of companies and products using GMO’s and you think, what the fuc$ can I buy?  I thought the same thing last year when all this GMO noise started surfacing, and knew we were buying and ingesting at least 50% of the brands and products on that list.  Now, I feel much more confident and way less overwhelmed though and know what ingredients to look for and stay away from.

It’s So Expensive! It dawned on me the other day that we here in America, on average, pay more for a medium size latte than we do for a supermarket whole chicken, or a slab of meat.  How is that right and how is that justifiable?  We have grown to support a system that produces a living “product” made of flesh and blood, by the cheapest and quickest means possible in order to yield the biggest profit, so that we can eat it whenever, and as many times a day, as we want.  We get what we pay for friends, and as of Friday, we may be getting our chicken for even cheaper thanks to the USDA’s ruling that China can now process our chicken without us even knowing it.

But, You’re A Conservative! Yes, a couple of people have questioned how I could be considering all these changes, if I’m a true conservative.  First, I don’t understand how politics and the food I feed my family are intertwined, but if we’re going to go there.  I am a true conservative who respects that our country was built on hard work, ethics and independence, and free of as little government interference as possible.  One of the most wonderful things about our country was that we came here and were able to sustain ourselves by growing our own food and not having to rely on other country’s imports.  Sadly, the traditional way of farming and animal husbandry have fallen by the wayside and is only practiced by a select few, taken over by huge conglomerates who do not have our best interest on their agenda.  Farmers have been replaced by corporations and the government is eerily mingled in with the food that comes to our table.  As a conservative who believes in what the party used to stand for (let’s not discuss what it has unfortunately become), I take a vested interest in the most important thing I give my family, the food that sustains us.  I want to know that I’m supporting real people whose practices helped build and feed this country, and not just huge factories and corporations, and I want to be able to trust that one of the largest branches of our government, the USDA, has my family’s best interest at heart, and is not driven by corporate lobbyists, but other than that, I want them out of the way.  Those are what I believe to be traditional conservative values.

What We’re Doing.  It is so overwhelming, and right now, it is expensive.  And sadly, to eat the way we want to eat is time consuming and takes work, and isn’t even possible to feed the state of California this way, let alone the whole country.  But here’s what we’re doing anyhow.

– Going forward, consume products from animals which are truly pastured, fed a vegetarian diet and aren’t injected with antibiotics, which includes eggs, chicken beef and lamb.  These types of products are harder to come by, but not impossible, especially in Southern California.  After reaching out the other day, I got the names of 4 different local farms all raising truly pastured, grass-fed animals, all within 1-2 hours of our home.  They all welcome farm tours and are all proud of the food they’re raising.  I was very impressed by Primal Pastures, and their Kickstarter program to help build a farm is such a cool project it gave me chills while watching their video.  They’ve already met their goal, and then some, and backers are as far flung as NYC and Europe, not just locally in Southern California.  If anything, that gives me hope that there’s tremendous interest in seeing a shift in how we produce and buy food in America, and that plenty of people want better access at a more affordable rate to locally grown, humanely raised meat and agriculture.  Also, if you want a quick synopisis of why organic and cage-free don’t mean jack shit, read this little break down on their site.

– Which means I’ll be shopping at a lot more farmer’s markets and small scale chains.  No more grocery markets, unless they carry, and some now do, a wider selection of local, sustainable, humanely raised and processed animal products.  This is not easy for me.  My mother and father both worked for the supermarkets for 25+ years, and their hard-earned paychecks from those markets are what helped to pay for my college education, supplemented by the income I made, also working at a supermarket.  This is a huge cultural, emotional and mental shift for me and the way I grew up.

– Read labels, read books and educate myself.  After finishing Eating Animals, I picked up Animal, Vegetable, Miracle by Barbara Kingsolver and was blown away when in the first few pages I read this interesting tidbit: “If every US citizen ate just one meal a week (any meal), composed of locally and organically raised meats and produce, we would reduce our country’s oil consumption by over 1.1 million barrels of oil every week.  That’s not gallons, but barrels.  Small changes in buying habits can make a big difference.”  I’m currently compiling, and will include the link here when it’s finished, of 10 books that are most influential in getting you to rethink your food choices.

– Less eating out where I have to wonder where my food came from, less packaged foods with labels to read, and more cooking.  And less meat overall.  Anyone have a good vegetarian cookbook they can recommend?  All hard things that aren’t always convenient, and will be especially hard for the kids.  But we’re already starting to talk to them about our choices and why we’re making them.  When Taylor asked why we couldn’t go to Subway the other day, I simply told her that I recently found out that the meat they use comes from animals which weren’t treated nicely.  I didn’t get into horrendous specifics, and just left it at that, but it was all her 8 year old animal loving mind needed to hear.  These kids are a lot smarter, compassionate and wiser than I sometimes give them credit for.

Are there bigger problems in the world?  Absolutely.  I get riled up at and overwhelmed and depressed at all our country and world faces every day.  There’s people starving every single day, who only wish they had the luxury of worrying about organic versus nonorganic.  But because other problems do exist, doesn’t mean I should ignore the problems that exist, which I have the power and knowledge to change.  Small changes by many or big changes by just a few make an impact, and since we don’t eat in a vacuum, but as friends and families, it’s hard to deny that our food choices don’t have the opportunity to radiate influence.

I’ve been writing this post for so long now I’m wondering if I’ve even made my point or gotten my point across.  I hope so.  I also hope it hasn’t come off as preachy or ill placed here.  Lots of people have asked questions, so I thought I might as well just put it out there, even though food and ethics aren’t my normal MO here.

Just this past Sunday we ate a club pizza at CPK, and after I read the chapter on pigs late that night, I felt sick to my stomach.  As I said earlier, I tend to get riled up on a regular basis about one thing or another, from politics to social issues to abortion and religion, and so on, and I come out with a lot of vigor but then lose steam after a while.  I get overwhelmed, trying to see how I could actually make a difference.  But it’s hard not to see now, how I can.

Ironically, I wrote this post about Food Inc., on my old blog over 3 years ago.  It makes me sad to see how little I did to actually change, after getting so riled up back then.  Embarrassing even.  I guess the only way I can explain the difference from then to now, is that I wasn’t ready to change, but now I am.  Even just a few months ago I wasn’t ready.  I saw that GMO list and I just sort of waved my hands at it and agreed it was all bad scary stuff, but it was just too much to grasp.  Now, it all seems so simple though.  I couldn’t fathom not buying my kids Cheez Its because how would we all survive without that easy to pack lunch snack?  How could I navigate that list of bad stuff when we already buy so much of it?  I just don’t buy it now, and it didn’t end up being as hard as I made it out to be.  A lot cheaper in fact.  I  balked at paying the prices demanded of grass fed beef, but now I see it as a completely fair price to pay, especially considering the swim lessons we pay for, the baseball uniform and bat and mitt, the $90 shoes I buy.  I just look at it all differently now, because I’m ready to.



Beauty & Hair, Blunders & Tales

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shoulder-length-hair I’ve had it on my life list for almost two years now, to donate my hair to charity. I’ve been wanting to chop it off for the past year, but I was patiently waiting and waiting and waiting for it to grow to the required 8″-10″ in length for donation, but it turns out my hair just didn’t want to grow anymore. My stylist said that some people’s hair just literally stops growing, or has a length to which it will only grow. Being that my hair had never, ever been so long, I couldn’t really say how long my hair’s potential for growth was. It also didn’t help that when I decided to go red last year, it seems I royally damaged it, and my hair was breaking off inches at a time. So, I decided to forgo the life list dream, which definitely made me sad, and give the hair a good chop. curls As I said, I’ve always had shorter hair, so this didn’t scare me, and I actually think if done right, shorter hair has more potential to look “stylish” and chic, than even long hair. Long hair is indeed sexy, but it’s all a matter of preference and if done right, short hair can most definitely make yo feel sexy too.  I went in with some visual inspiration for my hair, and told my stylist I was concerned of the mushroom effect that a shorter bob can tend to have.  Tens of hundreds of pictures of my hair from years ago are a testament to this mushroom effect.  Mark told me the secret was going easy on the layers, and giving the hair just a bit of texture, but essentially leaving it all one length.  I think he did alright. tumblr_m8wewsV4zH1qf5icpo1_1280 72e46a257b030dcf6fd6903bc4b59145 I showed him a couple of different styles, all in the same length, because I wanted to be able to wear my hair straight and slightly wavy. I tried the wavy look yesterday and I most definitely love it. e8e35282b4a9476a94381d810aab1b6b c48b7dbc219ea180039e5598e3c5de9d Maintenance on short hair can be hard, requiring more trims and the need to actually blow dry it if you want it to look decent. With longer hair, you can often times let it air dry and go for the messy look, but with shorter hair, it often leaves you looking frumpy. So far, I’ve blow dried it twice since my cut and it took me less than 10 minutes, whereas my longer hair took me almost 30 minutes to dry.  Images 1. 2, 3, 4 b&B I was forced to get some new hair product, and by forced I mean, he sprayed some stuff on my hair and I said I have to have it. I’m a sucker when it comes to hair product and can be coerced into virtually anything.  My new hair routine calls for some spritzes of Bumble & Bumble’s Thickening Spray, a small glob of Morrocan Oil, blow drying it with a paddle brush, like this one, and some spritzes of B&B’s Surf Spray to give it texture.  The last time I had short hair we used pomade to give texture.  This spray is heaven sent (dramatic much?). eyelash Speaking of being easily influenced, I recently gave my eyelash curler another chance.  I bought one over a year ago and after a couple of tries, tossed up my hands in disgust and declared the tool both a waste of time and money.  But then I was reading an interview with Kate Moss in Allure last month, and she said her daily beauty routine included some blush, gloss, her eyelash curler and a swipe of mascara.  It got me thinking.

Then!  The very next week, I attended a Girl Scouts sleepover at the Long Beach Aquarium, which meant sleeping on the floor and getting up at 6 am.  That morning, there was a mom from a different troop who was sitting at breakfast, curling her eyelashes.  And that was all she was doing.  She didn’t bother with foundation or liner or even lipstick.  She simply curled her eyelashes.  Of all the beauty routines and rituals she found important and necessary, the eyelash curler was obviously of paramount importance.

So that really got me thinking!  Perhaps I had been too quick to judge and needed to give my curler another chance to redeem itself.  Turns out, I had been doing it all wrong.  Per usual, I had been rushing through my routine in the car, and was haphazardly curling my lashes, using the curler all wrong.  These things take precision and patience, and now I’ve figured out that to achieve eyelash curler success, one must get the entire length of the lash into the archaic looking contraption, and press down for not 1 or 2 seconds, but for at least 10 seconds, to get a proper curl.  And lest you forget to do it before mascara application, fuhget about it.  Curling after mascara, at least in my case, only leads to clumping and even the pulling out of some lashes.

So my curler and I are back in business and are enjoying each other immensely.

Lastly, see in that photo above, my lipstick is rather bright?  I’m feeling the need to move on from bright and bold lips, to a softer shade.  Thinking of soft pink nude tones, and found this post that offers a plethora of suggestions.  This chick really seems to dig her nude lip colors, because those are all hers.  See any below, you personally like?  Where on earth do I even start.  I know it’s a pretty narrowed down selection, but wowzers! 004 So that’s what I’ve been up to, in terms of hair and beauty.  You can follow my hair and beauty board, and any other board you like too, over on Pinterest.  Also, always feel free to give suggestions on hair and beauty prodcuts I should be trying, because as my friend Amber knows, I’m an easy sell and will take anything you tell me as gospel.

Hope you all are having a good week!  Anyone chopped off their hair lately, or thinking about it?



Making Crafts & Friends At The Land Of Nod

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IMG_9429 So as it happens to be, really good, awesome things can be stressful too. This past weekend, I led a workshop at the Land Of Nod South Coast Plaza store, and taught kids and their parents how to make friendship bracelets. An amazingly awesome opportunity, but one which had me stressed out quite a bit.  I tend to worry a bit too much, and when I should have been enjoying the build up of this great event, I was thinking of how it could go wrong.   IMG_9440 No one was going to show up. Beads would be dumped everywhere and kids would cut themselves on scissors (for this I made sure to keep all scissors close by my side). Parents would complain that the class was too simple, or too hard and demand their money back. Wait, it was free. Basically, I am Chicken Little and imagined the worse case scenario in this situation.

It turns out though, that everything turned out just perfect.

People showed up, both boys and girls, moms and dads.  No beads were flung, no one choked or cut themselves or complained.  In fact, people were a downright pleasure to be around, and lovely and gracious and accepted help but at the same time did much of the crafting on their own. IMG_9338 IMG_9343 IMG_9467 Art brought Taylor and one of her best friends Skylar, to make bracelets together, and they thoroughly enjoyed themselves and I realized just how grown up they’ve become.  Working all by themselves, making the most amazingly beautiful designs.  Our other good friends Anne and her husband came, along with their cute little boys, and Jules’ whole family came too.  It was fun meeting new faces, some who knew me and some who had no idea who I was.  But once some familiar faces came in, I felt great.  Thanks Anne and Jules for making the effort.  I hope you all had fun.  IMG_9408 IMG_9395 IMG_9424 Not only did no beads get turned upside down from rambunctious toddlers, but the creations these kids made, both on their own and with the help of their parents, were seriously impressive.  One little 7 year old girl arrived at 10:55 am, eager to craft, and stayed for almost 2 hours, stringing all those tiny sequins one by one by herself.  She refused to let her mom help.  Her bracelet design was gorgeous.  It may sound ridiculous, but seeing young kids have so much patience and focus to complete something so creative and artistic, it seriously gives me goose bumps, and I’ll even admit, when it occurs with my own kids, it brings tears to my eyes. IMG_9391 IMG_9368 Untitled-1 It may seem so simplistic and ordinary, but these little moments of encouraging kids to be creative, teaches them so much in terms of confidence, independence, design, creativity, not to mention the sheer amount of fine motor skill dexterity practice they get when stringing bead after bead after bead.  Real life teaching moments in action, for sure. IMG_9502 IMG_9415 IMG_9388 I have a hard time sitting down and playing battle droids with my kids.  But give me some craft supplies and we’ll sit there for hours.  Or at least I will.  I love this stuff.  It almost made me think I could possible be a teacher of sorts.  It was a really, really good day and afterwards, I took Taylor and her friend for lunch in the mall, and I may have celebrated such a good day with a small glass of chardonnay.  I saw a reader who attended the workshop, in the cafe where we ate and I forewarned her not to judge me, cause I was celebrating.

I’ve been asked lots of times over the years, how I put up with the messes kids make when they craft, how I keep my patience, how I hold their attention.  My only advice is to try and start from a young age, and only do one thing at a time.  Kids will want to bring out the contents of the entire craft cabinet in the course of a day.  But we’ve always had a rule that we put one project away before we start another.

Other than that, kids are kids and messes are inevitable.  You can either direct them to produce a controlled mess, like a craft project, or let them make messes on their own by giving them free play.  Either way, a mess will be made.  Personally, I would rather have a mess from a creative project than a mess they’ve cooked up because they were left undirected in their room for an hour.  And p.s., I’m not mother of the year here.  My kids make plenty of both messes because our life is not one constant, ongoing arts and crafts project.  I just much more prefer craft project messes over say, Lego messes. IMG_9531 IMG_9518 And can we take a moment for this caftan?  I have coveted Emerson Fry for quite some time.  I pin from their site all the time, but have never actually coughed up the money to buy a piece.  Last week, their entire Spring collection went on sale and I added this caftan in my cart 7 times over the course of a week.  Every day I’d go in and say, if it’s still available, it’s meant to be and days went by without me actually buying it.  Finally, after one night where I went berserk over crazy rude comments 500+ people had left on one of my Babble pieces, I bit the bullet and bought it.  Not one single regret.  I wore it 5 days straight and not that it matters, but it most certainly helps, I’ve gotten a ton of compliments on it.  I’m in love, I’m in love, I’m in love, and I don’t care who knows it!  Name that movie!  FYI, it’s one size fits all and it has an internal cinch tie to bring in the waist a bit so it doesn’t look so mumu’ish.

*Caftan – Emerson Fry; Necklace – Ann Taylor Loft; Wedges – ShoeMint Jordane now on sale



Making Marriage Work, And Blogging Too

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andrea-124(1) In many ways I still regard myself as a kid, or at least younger than I actually am.  It’s hard for me to sometimes believe that I’ve been married for over 14 years, or that 3 small people call me mom.  Because my reality doesn’t always jive with my own perception of myself, I sometimes feel like I have no business offering advice on marriage, and even at times, on parenting.  But being married for over 14 years does count for something.  After all, we have more than doubled the national average, so I guess that’s a victory in our corner.

So if Art and I were sitting on a couch, fast forward, 40 years from now, and asked what it takes to make a marriage work, I know my answer would be love and communication.  I’m not sure how closely our answers would match, but without a doubt, that’s where I would start.  My answer may very well change 40 years from now, but today, that’s what my answer would be, and is.

August was quite a doozy of a month for us.  It started off with Art having an outpatient surgery, which is technically minor, but was still surgery and the recovery lasted longer than either of us anticipated.  Coincidentally, the same day he had his surgery, I came down with strep throat.  The worst case of it I have ever had, and I’ve had it a lot.  While he drove himself back and forth to the hospital to have his surgery, my mom was trying to comfort me in the waiting room of urgent care, where I waited for over 2 hours.  I was so agitated and upset after a bad doctor’s experience that I yelled at one of the nurses in the waiting room and afterwards, I grew terrified that someone may have caught me on video and would later publish my rant on Vine, like the crazy Apple lady.

As Art and I both recovered, Syd came down with strep again, for the 3rd time since May (he has now had it a 4th time), and Hayden got sick.  We spent the second week of August in and out of the pediatrician’s office.

The rest of the month, while we had some wonderful times including our road trip and Hayden’s birthday, continued to be filled with a lot of stress, of which the particulars aren’t necessarily important.

Tension had been building up between Art and I for a month, and while we weren’t necessarily fighting, we weren’t really communicating much and facing this very obvious tension between us.  Things would get better for a day or two, and then I would get annoyed that something didn’t get done, or he would be upset that I didn’t understand his stress and we were generally just cranky with each other on an ongoing basis, throughout the month.

Last night, things just sort of broke open and we talked.  Things started out tense and some angry words were exchanged, but by the end, I opened up and was sobbing something about  just wanting the time to print up pictures and work on Hayden’s baby book, and he just wanted to feel supported.  Our “fights” are so predictable now, in how they begin and end, it leaves me wondering why we even bother to fight after all these years.  We always come back to each other, we always end up opening up and breaking down.  There’s always a positive ending, even if there were hurt feelings in between.

So here’s where my two keys to marriage come in.  First, you must have love.  Sounds so basic and simplistic it’s almost silly, right?  Well, you have to hold onto that love for each other because it’s what will soften your heart to each other when you’re angry and irritated and disappointed.  Love is what will bring you back together when you drift apart.  Your love for each other will change in some ways, or during different periods of your relationship.  Some seasons your love will look more like friendship.  At other times it may be passionate and playful.  And still at other times, it will look like simple survival mode, as you cling to it with all you’ve got as you try to weather the storm.  But you must truly love your mate at the outset, and be committed to loving them even when it gets hard, because it is the main thing that will keep you going.

Next to love, you must communicate with each other.  You must open up and not let things fester and build up.  You don’t need to hash things out on a daily basis and confront every sideways glance or thoughtless word spoken, but when there’s tension, you must talk about it, eventually.  Art and I are notorious for sleeping very close to each other.  It’s the main way we’ve been able to survive 14 years of marriage and 3 kids with a Queen bed (friends balk at us for not having a King); because we only sleep on half the bed anyhow.  For the past month though, we’ve slept on opposite sides of the bed, only touching each other by accident.  Even in our subconscious sleep, our tensions we held onto during the day, seeped into our sleep.  This morning, after we spoke and opened up last night, we woke up side by side, curled up next to each other.    Never underestimate the toll ongoing tension can take on your marriage.

So why do  I tell you all this?  To be quite honest, I’m not sure.  I just feel like I needed to write what was on my mind here today.  In many ways Art and I are very private with our marriage, or at least talking about it with others.  I’m not one to nag about him online or in social media.  I may joke here and there with girlfriends about how he’s never on time or he’s forgetful, but I don’t ever make it a habit of hashing out the idiosyncrasies of our marriage with girlfriends (maybe sometimes with my mom or my sis).  I just prefer to fester in our issues for a few weeks until things get uncomfortable and then I’m forced to face them head-on with Art.  I’m only being slightly sarcastic.

After feeling how good it was to talk with my husband last night, I guess I just wanted to open up here and talk to whoever is out there reading today.  I’ve been disappointed in the content of my blog these past couple of months, to be completely honest.  I know I don’t owe anyone any apologies, but I guess I feel like I at least want to own up to it.  I know posts the past couple of months have been sporadic, there’s been a lot of sponsored content, and I’ve preferred to just stay silent and not post anything, than post just what’s on my mind.  For some reason I forgot that this is my blog and, while I realize and have respect that some of you come here for a very specific reason, I still have the freedom to write what I want to write here.  Or I guess, not write anything at all.

The transition to actually making money via blogging, primarily through my 2 outside writing gigs at Disney Baby and Babble,  is still new to me and something I’m still learning how to navigate successfully.  After being at it for several years and never really having a big break-through, I took the small successes I did experience, and ran with it, to secure those two paid writing positions.  Perhaps it’s a result of how I was raised, but I always seem to feel more comfortable and secure with the sure thing, and the secure, paid gig.

It’s why I abandoned my baby clothing line after just 6 months, and went back to work full time.  It’s why I held full time or part time jobs for the first 6 years of being a mother.  It’s why I finally had to step back from helping run Art’s business, because the ups and downs of not having a sure thing terrified me.  After 8 years of Art owning his own business, I’ve finally learned that a little faith goes a long way.  But it was a very hard realization to come by.

So I guess it’s why I always seem to fall back into that eager to please employee who will do whatever she can to succeed at her job and make her boss happy, even if it means sacrificing a bit of my content here.  I made a vow to always put my work here first, but when daily traffic numbers and post quotas and bonus opportunities are hanging over my head, it’s very easy for me to abandon my original vows, and focus my energy on the sure thing, so it can stay a sure thing.  And even after securing several sponsored posts in July on For The Love Of, I still made more at my other gigs than I did here.  Currently, I seem to be at that very perfect point in social media ranking to where I have just enough social influence to make me marketable, but still very affordable.

I love my job, and am so very thankful that I have the opportunity to help support my family with my written words.  And I will continue with that course until the opportunity no longer presents itself.  But I so desperately want to figure out a way to make it work here too.  To put the best of myself and my talents here too.  I can’t make any promises, and quite frankly, I guess I don’t have to.  But this space is still very important to me and I feel like I’ve just sort of let people down here the past few weeks.  Or maybe no one else has really noticed and I’m just being hard on myself.

This has turned into quite the ramble and I hope it still seems semi-coherent to some of you.  But the key to making any relationship work is talking, so I’m following my own advice and just pretending like we’re having a conversation here.

I’ve pretty much given up on trying to respond to comments here on the blog.  I know that’s terrible, but I’m finally just accepting that my time on the actual computer has to be so focused, that once I hit publish I usually have to get up and step away from the computer.  That unfortunately means not a lot of time to build the community I had once hoped to build in the comments section below.  It’s too hard to comment via my phone as well, but please please know that I always do my best to answer questions via a direct reply to the commenter, and I am kick ass on Instagram, in terms of response.  You can always just email me directly too.

My traffic numbers continue to thrive, so I know someone’s reading.  I’d love to hear from you if this posts resonates with you in some way.  What are your ways to keep a marriage going?  How do you juggle outside work and blogging?  Do you ever feel like your content sucks and you need to do something to recharge your creative juices?

Thanks for reading and listening and letting me have an imaginary conversation with you all.  It felt good to just talk today.

*photo credit Yung Bean Photography



Hayden’s 1st Birthday – An Elf Themed Party

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IMG_9014 When we decided on the Elf theme for Hayden’s 1st birthday party, we didn’t really worry that people wouldn’t get the whole Christmas in August thing. It didn’t worry us that many of the movie lines, which we would incorporate into the party, were like an inside joke unless you had not only seen the movie, but also counted it as your favorite. We didn’t worry because to us, the theme, centered around just one line in the movie where Elf states that “Smiling’s my favorite”, couldn’t be anymore perfect, as it relates to our sweet boy Hayden. Smiling is not just a hobby for him, but his job, and he works it like a boss. IMG_8955

Initially we had grand schemes of pulling off a fantastical photo booth, complete with Elf, Santa, and even Mr. Narwhal props. Pin the Elf hat on the Elf game, snowman making crafts and we even at one point, dreamed of building a sleigh out of cardboard (I swear, the kids got really into the party planning and their ideas were genius). But at the end of the day, I had to keep reminding myself that this was a party for a 1 year old, who I really didn’t want to neglect for 2 weeks while I crafted up intricate props and backdrops, so on and so forth. Plus, with our last minute road trip just the week before, there simply wasn’t any time, even had I wanted to follow through on some of those genius ideas. IMG_8934 IMG_8935

So we kept it simple, focusing on decorating just one part of the house, nixing the photo booth and craft station and even games, and opting to let the kids swim the whole time instead. Outside we did set up a kids table with a few Etch A Sketches, wooden hammer toys, very Santa’s Workshop-like, an old school Lite Brite and some Legos. I never even made it outside to take pictures of the play table though, because there was just too much going on and I had to let some things go.

For the decorations, I made yards and yards of paper chains using plain ol’ white printer paper, to resemble this scene from the movie.  The kids helped by making most of those snowflakes you see as well, and my husband made the chains of gingerbread men, which took a bit of time but was actually quite simple.  You just cut a piece of 8.5×11 paper in half lengthwise, tape rows together (he taped 4 rows together), then accordion folded the paper, and then cut.  Voila! decorations The red and aqua color tie in came from the original invitation color scheme, which Heather Myers of River and Bridge designed especially for Hayden.  She creates custom party packages that include the invite and thank you cards, and I added on the banner and cupcake toppers.  I ended up loving the handwritten font she used, called Matchmaker, that I bought it myself and used it to make the food labels and a candy bar sign. IMG_9333 IMG_8948 food I ordered the bulk candy online from Amazon and placed it in my collection of vintage milk glass hobnail containers (most were my Grandma’s).  There was so much I was supposed to do while we were on our road trip. but between bad WiFi service and just being exhausted from so much driving and managing 3 kids, I didn’t get much done, so had to settle with what I could find on Amazon and ship that week using Prime.  I would say it all worked out though.  The candy corn arrived at Target the day before the party so I snagged that up on a whim and it was by far the kid’s favorite candy!  One of the other ideas I had was to fill the pool with solid colored red and white balloons, inspired by this pin, but it would have been $40 to overnight them and I decided to just let it go because, really, he was turning 1!??!?  I think it might have been dangerous anyhow considering we had 25+ kids swimming at all times.  The paper goods were found at Target, and the polka dot cupcake liners from Michael’s.    desserts IMG_8933

IMG_8968 I was feeling sort of bummed at my sad pictures, which I rushed to take after guests had already began to arrive, but after seeing the photos my sweet friend Miranda took while we sang him Happy Birthday, I let the bad decor pictures go, and came to tears at just how happy we all look, feeling grateful for our sweet Hayden. He has completed our family and touched our lives in a way we never could have expected. His smile and joy is contagious, and while this past year was awfully busy and went by in a blur, I can honestly say that I enjoyed our blur of a year to the fullest. I kissed and held and rocked and nursed that boy till my heart was content. I lost so much sleep, productivity, motivation and aspirations to do many of the things I “wanted” to do, and instead focused on what I “had” to do, which was love on this sweet boy as much as possible. IMG_9026 singing-happy-bday He loved us singing happy birthday to him and was fascinated by his first bit of cake and frosting.   IMG_9007 IMG_9041 The cake was from a local bakery and we ordered it on the small side to save on costs and to keep it feeling like a smash cake. It still managed to serve 15+ people even though they said it would only feed 10. I made carrot cupcakes with cream cheese frosting for everyone else. IMG_9044 I know this is a lot of pictures, but your last baby only turns 1 once, so indulge me a little 😉 IMG_9068 IMG_9086 Untitled-1 Happy Birthday my sweet Hayden!  Thank you for blessing our lives with your beautiful smile and laughter. IMG_9093



Friendship Bracelet Class At Land Of Nod

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LON Hi friends! Popping in to let you know that this Saturday, I’ll be teaching a friendship bracelet class at the local Land Of Nod store at South Coast Plaza from 11-1. I’ll be showing you how to make simple bracelets you can whip up, for both boys and girls, while you’re there in store. They are also offering a 15% off discount on in-store purchases for those who attend. Please email nodevents@landofnod.com if you can make it! I hope to see and meet some of you there!

Off to get my kids off to their first day of 1st and 3rd grades!



Stripes and Denim and Heels

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stripes-and-denim7 Because my husband is a small business owner, it’s a rarity we ever get to take week-long vacations. The last time we took one was a year and a half ago, and the time before that was 5 years prior. I’m not complaining, we still seem to get out a lot and take small adventures. Small adventures seem to require more effort with 3 kids though, but they’re always worth it and even though we come home even more exhausted than before, we’re always glad we did it. stripes-and-denim2 Jeans – Paige Denim Skyline; Shirt – H&M but similar here and here; Shoes – ShoeMint Jordane; Bag – Joelle Hawkens

This past week we went on a 7 day road trip throughout California and logged about 2000 miles on my husband’s 8 year old Tahoe. By the end of the trip, our air conditioner had busted and the passenger window wouldn’t roll up or down so we held it up with some wood shims and masking tape. I was only slightly embarrassed. Thankfully our trip was very laid back and casual, and we weren’t staying at any 5 star hotels, and for 7 days on the road, we only ate out a total of 5 times. I packed attire for the trip, knowing we would be in both warm and cold climates inland and on the coast, and brought along one nicer pair of shoes with the off chance we went out to a nicer restaurant at least once. I ended up not needing shoes other than flip flops and tennies the entire time, and that suited me just fine. stripes-and-denim1
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On our last day of the trip though, I asked my husband to shoot an outfit post for me, since the scenery was so gosh darn pretty, and I put on that one pair of nice shoes. I immediately took them off afterwards though, since we were settling in for a 6 drive home. I love the look, and have in fact worn these shoes with these jeans several times, just not in an outfit shoot yet. So here you go, inspired by all those denim and heel photos I’ve been pinning lately, my version of distressed denim with heels. stripes-and-denim6
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If I can get my act together I’ll share a recap of our adventures on the road including what we saw and where we stayed. California can be overwhelming, even for two adults born and raised here. I was searching down hotels while on the road and luckily it all worked out, but if you’re not from here you could easily go astray. It was an awesome and memorable trip and I’m pretty sure the kids had a blast. But even my little girl, who loves loves loves vacations and always says they’re too short (usually because they are), was ready to go home by the last day. She declared that night, all curled up in her own bed, “It’s good to be home.” Indeed it was.